MIKE’S LIFE: Lack of internet causes a minor inconvenience | Feature Columns

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I think we can all agree that when my internet went down recently, it was 100% my neighbor’s fault.

I’m basing this on the fact that when I went across the street and asked her if I could borrow some wire cutters, she said, “Sure! Now you may think she was just neighbor. And maybe that was his intention. But the correct answer to my question was “No, Mike, you can’t have a wire cutter, because you will undoubtedly cut your internet connection rather than the cable you thought it cut.”

It all started when I was doing gardening work in my garden. We have a series of cables coming into our house from things long gone – a satellite dish, landlines, etc. My wife and I have never had a satellite dish and we haven’t had a landline for over 15 years. For some reason I decided to get annoyed with these fairly innocuous cables and go ahead and get rid of them. Hence my question to my neighbor.

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With wire cutters in hand, I came back and identified the worthless cables. And I started cutting. Cut. Cut. Cut.

Mission accomplished.

I then went inside and noticed that a TV in our den that was playing something that required an internet connection was not, in fact, playing and instead said “No internet connection” on the screen. I may have said a word or two that is not appropriate for a family journal.

My wife came down and said, “What happened? I said, “I shut down the internet. I screwed up.” And then more of those words.

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Not having internet is a bit of a problem for us. For one, my wife works from home. She must have internet to do her job. But also, the NBA playoffs are currently underway, and I really enjoy watching them. I think we can all agree that these are of fairly equal importance.

I called the cable company and explained the situation to them. Luckily the rep was able to schedule me something for later in the day, which is quite an impressive feat for a Sunday.

When the technician arrived, I took him out into the garden and showed him where the line had been cut. I started explaining to him what had happened and he waved me off. “It’s okay. I’ve seen this before. Alas, I’m not alone.

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In about 15 minutes he had everything fixed and the internet was back up and running. Phew.

I returned the wire cutters to my neighbor and informed her that it was all her fault. Unsurprisingly, she kinda said maaaaaaybe I had a little guilt here? Fair point.

The important thing is that the mistake – whoever is really responsible – is fixed. It was a pretty minor inconvenience, and it’s all fixed now. I’m glad my wife was able to do her job the next day, because it’s pretty important. But I also currently have the NBA playoffs. So win all around.

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