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Internet Slams Husband Who Blamed ‘Declining’ Health on Wife’s Cancer

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A woman has claimed in a now-viral post that her husband recently attributed his “declining” health to breast cancer.

Posting to Reddit’s ‘Am I the A**hole’ (AITA) forum on Wednesday under the username u/user345433, the wife said her husband has taken to blaming ‘all the little things’ about his cancer. The post received more than 12,000 upvotes and nearly 1,000 comments from angry Redditors who criticized her husband for his behavior.

At the beginning of her post, the woman explained that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer several months ago. As a result, her husband terminated his employment contract and became her primary caretaker.

“He drives me to the hospital and takes care of my meds and I’m so grateful for that. But he’s developed this habit of blaming my condition for every little thing,” she wrote.

Woman with cancer
A woman has claimed in a now-viral post that her husband recently attributed his “declining” health to breast cancer. Commentators have sided with the wife, and many have suggested that the husband is looking for a healthier way to vent about the situation.
Ridofranz/istock

“He was making comments like, ‘Because of YOUR cancer now I [have] drive in the middle of the night to get medicine,” or he would say, “If it wasn’t for YOUR cancer, I’d still be [have] my contract,” she continued.

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Things finally came to a head when, over dinner, her husband blamed her “declining” health on her cancer.

“He was reheating dinner (he hates to eat anything frozen) and put it on the table and started eating with disgust all over his face,” she recalled.

When she entered the kitchen, her husband looked at her and said, “Who would [have] never thought i would settle for a frozen meal. Because of YOUR cancer, my health is declining because I only eat frozen junk food since you can’t even cook!”

At this comment, the woman “cracked”.

“I yelled at him saying that my cancer was not a CHOICE, that I was unhappy with the situation I was in and that his constant remarks about my condition went too far and needed to be stopped,” she said.

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The American Cancer Society said “an estimated 287,850 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in women” in 2022. This diagnosis, the National Cancer Institute (NCI) said, can cause the patient and her spouse to feeling “anxious, helpless, or scared.”

To reduce stress on the relationship, Stanford Medicine says it’s important for couples to “face cancer together.”

“Although your spouse has cancer, the disease does happen to both of you. Your lives are similarly disrupted,” Stanford Medicine explained.

“It can be extremely reassuring and comforting for your loved one to know that you are facing the disease together and that your support and involvement will be constant and unwavering no matter what,” Stanford Medicine continued.

Many commenters agreed that u/user345433’s husband needed someone to talk to about his wife’s diagnosis. However, they also criticized him for not supporting u/user345433 enough.

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“Ma’am, I hate your husband. Even bad people deserve better support than what you’re getting during this horrible time… NTA [not the a**hole]“wrote u/CranberrySafe3271.

“If he can’t support you, he can be quiet…If he wants to tell someone how hard your cancer is for him, he has to tell someone else. They have even support groups for that. Well good luck and take care. NTA,” u/ParsimoniousSalad said.

Redditor u/sra19 added: “NTA at all. But maybe he needs a support group or something because even if he doesn’t experience it the same way you do, he goes through it too and probably needs a place where he can let off steam without it being for you or making you feel worse.”

Newsweek contacted u/user345433 for comment.

In related news, commentators slammed a man’s family last week for blaming his wife for not “managing” her diabetes.

Other AITA stories that went viral in April include a woman who tried to breastfeed her granddaughter, as well as a woman who kicked her brother and his family out of her apartment. .

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